Love Is Like...Oxygen

So, Valentine's Day. Never was much for those Hallmark Holidays. It was pretty much ruined for me forever back in 1980. I had two girls on the hook and life was easy. They fought with each other and I just sat back and soaked up all the attention and all the loot. But Valentine's Day 1980 I gave the girl I really loved a nice present (a shiny necklace from Service Merchandise) and the other one the standard Russell Stover red heart-shaped box. Bad mistake. I should've known the one would flaunt in front of the other. A red heart-shaped box of Russell Stover chocolate doesn't really look like it would hurt when it's thrown in your face, but it was cold that night and it did kind of sting.

I got each of my Vals the standard gift this year -- candy and a card -- and a small extra thing. Super Giant Killer got a Polly Pocket-Hot Wheel cross-branding toy (somehow I don't think Mattel cross-brands the Pollys with the toys on the boy side of the aisle).

And C. F. Kats got a little sumpin' I knitted up to hold her tiny mp3 player. It's the first thing I've ever made up, so I'm kind of partial to it. Here it is:



Check out these insane Valentines SGK got.



See, I've said for years this religion stuff is just a cruel joke and now the folks at Dayspring have actually come out and admitted it.

I think this is Vengeful Barbie. You may have to click on it to get the subtle loathsome look.



And how about the sentiment - 'you're such a fashionable friend'? I'll hang out with you, but I won't be there for you when you need me.

Finally, another from those zany folks at Dayspring...



What kid doesn't love 1920s slang on their valentine?

We Live In A Time When Paintings Have No Color, Words Don't Rhyme

Some little Ram is having a birthday today...

I've just had a long conversation with The Self about the confusing vicissitudes of love. Or such as it is perceived in middle school. From what I gather, the very mild version of 'going out' as practiced at her school consists of simply saying, "Will you go out with me?" and if both parties agree then that's pretty much it. No hand-holding, let alone first base (there is a God, I told you) or anything beyond a 'side-hug', even though they've seen and heard way beyond what I ever had by that age myself. But what I really noticed is that none of them seem capable of falling in love. Or if they're capable, they just don't.

I figure my memory has failed me or something because I believe with all my heart that in middle school I had gone somewhere beyond crush and obsession and could be just totally in love with someone. Where everything you think about is related to them, and you talk to them secretly on the phone until 2 AM. Your eyes sparkle when you see them. You have a stupid grin on your face all the time. Your pulse races. Not obsession or Guys Who Wear Garden Clogs stalking. Nothing physical, but just completely washed over with romance and sentiment. Did anyone else feel this way? Were Drew and The Refugee just really lucky girls? I mean I showered them with genuine affection and gifts, I was nice to their families, the works. I have to ask Drew about this. But I explained all of this to The Self and she says she knows of no one (and she knows everyone) who feels that way in an obvious manner, which would indicate they are still at an unrequited secret crush level. What do you say? When does that kick in - or is it dead these days?