There's a Billion Odd People Better Than Me, But You Don't Know Them

I hate this. I am in knitting paralysis. I am in desperate need of a 10-1/2" circular needle to start YHWH's Booga Bag and I have only a 9" and 13" on hand. Michael's hasn't caught on that people knit anything other than scarves and baby blankets and thus don't carry much in the way of supplies and Hobby Lobby is in bed with Chick-Fil-A in enforcing their theocratic intentions on everyone by not opening on Sunday. Probably think Mothers' Day is a religious holiday anyway. Tex isn't home so I can't lean on her. I received AQ's foot pattern yesterday - thanks for wearing socks Queen - but the only sock yarn I have on hand is mint green and I'm not sure if she'd like that. She's not home either. By the way, Queen sent either a scan or a photocopy of her feet. How in hell did you do that, Queen? Did you climb up on a really high chair and put one foot on the copier or something? I keep getting these images of you at Kinko's hiking up your skirt and scaling the Canon while screaming at Lego Guy to hurry up and push the button. I also had a couple of visions of you shattering the glass, shredding your foot before it's electrocuted by all the wires inside. I also have this mental picture of you standing on the copier at work when your boss walks in. All this to say that since you said your socks are currently ill-fitting it really doesn't help me to have an imprint of a socked foot. I need you to stand flat-footed on a piece of paper and have one of your men trace around your bare foot. So, anyway, I really wanted to knit this morning and I have made five African baby hats this week and I don't think I can do another.

I am seriously considering becoming a right-wing jingoist. I try to subtly nudge my girls into being selfless-thinkers-of-others (without being doormats), thinking liberals, progressives, or any combination of the above. But I want them to get there on their own rather than becoming left-wing ideological automatons that sputter and spout whenever certain keywords are mentioned. I bad mouth Wal-Mart, 24-hour news channels, reality TV, and a host of other things while giving examples of better alternatives. I even admit I'm wrong sometimes. Well, anyway, last night we were eating dinner and I brought up how if I had it to do over I would seriously consider becoming a doctor so I could work with Medecins Sans Frontieres or I would give a couple of years to The Halo Trust clearing mines. YHWH and I talked about landmines and the work of MSF for awhile and the whole time The Self is staring away blankly, bobbing her head to George Harrison. The worse part is she has no riddim and the head-bobbing was way out of sync with the music. The problem is that it's not an isolated incident, she pretty well spends most of her time working on nerve-attenuation and mainlining from Rupert Murdoch. By the way, I'm not pushing them into doing something dangerous. I'm not pushing them into anything at all, just trying to raise consciousness. As Boris Pasternak said, "We weren't put on this earth to be happy. We were put here to do great things." Anyway, I've read a few editorials lately that talk about how evangelicals have a higher birthrate (why do the obsess over sex so much?) than their ideological foes and theocracy will ultimately triumph especially if you factor in that the rising Hispanic population is pretty conservative. I love this because as a self-described historian I look at the most recent radical time in our past, the 1960s, and those radical kids had famously conservative parents. And looking at it personally, I was raised in a right-wing jingoist environment and it backfired on me, so I'm considering giving it a go. I think it will be fun. I mean my opinions and actions really got on my dad's nerves, but for me it will be rewarding watching the girls react to my philosophy. Now were did I put that subscription card for The Weekly Standard?

Ahh...Tex just called...she has the needle I desire...