Does He Like Butter Tarts?

This morning as I watched the 6:00AM rebroadcast of the local news I saw the report on The Great Peanut Butter Scare of 2007. "Naw," I thought. "Couldn't happen to me." I'm one of the great multitudes of people that nothing like that ever happens to (not that I'm complaining). I remember growing up that ever so often mom and dad would take a toy away and tell me that somebody said it was dangerous. Sure enough, some kid in East Whangdoodle, New Jersey had swallowed a piece of Blammo's Live-Fire Gatling Gun for Kids. Or some three year old in a southside tenement in Chicago was eating the paint off the walls and anything with lead paint (which was everything) got pulled. I'm not complaining about consumer safety, it's just even at age 7 I wondered, "who was that kid who ruined it for everyone?" I never swallowed bullets, I never ate lead paint, I never shot a star trek phaser in anyone's eye.

It's a little different, but I also always wondered: who was it that ate the red dye #whatever? Who ate those Jack-in-the-Box burgers in Seattle? Who ate the spinach? I'm not making light of their troubles, it's just I've never encountered many public health hazards. So, when I saw the report I blew it off.

Then YHWH comes in after watching it in the other room. "Hey, guess what Killer at for lunch yesterday?"

"Uhhh...The same thing I ate for my snack every day this week?"

"Yep, say hello to Sal Minella."



It's kind of pretty as killers go.

There's no punchline here, sorry. No one was rushed to the hospital. But I've been giddy all day because I purchased my first contaminated foodstuff (that I know of). I've now been involved in a recall. Even our Pinto's gas tank was not one of the exploding kind. But last Sunday I bought two - two - jars of Peter Pan Creamy Whipped Peanut Butter with number "2111" on the lid.

I authorize Adjective Queen to turn Empty Room a web memorial.

*ps I know how to spell salmonella

Love Is Like...Oxygen

So, Valentine's Day. Never was much for those Hallmark Holidays. It was pretty much ruined for me forever back in 1980. I had two girls on the hook and life was easy. They fought with each other and I just sat back and soaked up all the attention and all the loot. But Valentine's Day 1980 I gave the girl I really loved a nice present (a shiny necklace from Service Merchandise) and the other one the standard Russell Stover red heart-shaped box. Bad mistake. I should've known the one would flaunt in front of the other. A red heart-shaped box of Russell Stover chocolate doesn't really look like it would hurt when it's thrown in your face, but it was cold that night and it did kind of sting.

I got each of my Vals the standard gift this year -- candy and a card -- and a small extra thing. Super Giant Killer got a Polly Pocket-Hot Wheel cross-branding toy (somehow I don't think Mattel cross-brands the Pollys with the toys on the boy side of the aisle).

And C. F. Kats got a little sumpin' I knitted up to hold her tiny mp3 player. It's the first thing I've ever made up, so I'm kind of partial to it. Here it is:



Check out these insane Valentines SGK got.



See, I've said for years this religion stuff is just a cruel joke and now the folks at Dayspring have actually come out and admitted it.

I think this is Vengeful Barbie. You may have to click on it to get the subtle loathsome look.



And how about the sentiment - 'you're such a fashionable friend'? I'll hang out with you, but I won't be there for you when you need me.

Finally, another from those zany folks at Dayspring...



What kid doesn't love 1920s slang on their valentine?

I Know the Names of 666 Stars

Oh well, it was a nice first half. I had a great time at the Queen's Super Bowl Party, tho. Gouldie, Guy, DOOL, and I were all there plus assorted family members. There is nothing more adorable in the world than observing a tipsy Queen. I live for it. It was also great seeing Gouldie. I hadn't seen her since Super Bowl XXIX back in '95 when the SB was still played in January. Lots of good eats and drinks and good times.

Here's my random fact of the day. I read this morning that the reason you find that ruler sticker on the pump islands at gas stations is because robbery and theft are so prevalent at gas stations the sticker enables staff to easily tell police how tall the perps were. Never knew that.

Caught By the Flanker

I got no dog in this fight called the Super Bowl, but here's why I hope the Colts lose:

1. The Colts should be eternally cursed for removing one of the most storied original franchises with a staunchly loyal fanbase - and to Indianapolis for God's sake.

2. I hexed them when they beat Dallas in the first Super Bowl I ever watched - SB V.

3. They let Joe Namath and the AFL win a championship and then promptly turned around and joined the AFC. Unforgivable.

4. It's against the spirit of the Revolution to feel sorry for a pouty quarterback with a $99.2 million salary + $34.5 million signing bonus, just because he's a nice guy.

4. It's still not OK to play football in a shiny dome on plastic grass in air conditioning.

I'm crossing my fingers for the Bears because they are the antithesis of all those (except number 2).

Just A Sip

Two food-related items...

We religiously attended Moe's Southwest Grill every Friday night for over a year, but last week the unthinkable happened. After a couple months of estrangement from Moe's, we have discovered our new favorite restaurant. Viva Mexico! No, that's the name of the place, not pro-immigration sloganeering. I heartily recommend it. It's the kind of Mexican food I imagine certain Mexicans would eat. I say that because I'm not exactly sure what Mexicans consider comfort food, but if I were a Mexican, this is the kind of food I would dodge a couple Minutemen to go home for. The main thing that has endeared me to the menu is the inclusion of two or three pork dishes. You rarely see pork dishes at the big Dallas chains that prey on Northwest Highway diners, but this place has them. They have all the regular Tex-Mex stuff, too, but I love the carnitas. Oh, and tres leches, too. It's on Northwest Highway near May in the cavernous building that once housed Tony's Via Roma and a number of Chinese and Mexican enterprises. The family that runs it is great and YHWH has already chatted them up and gotten everyone's life story. The atmosphere is a little different, kind of like a community center with TVs and a pool table and there're always people walking around chatting. The place is so big, though, you can always find a quiet spot.

The second item is in response to the inquiry about Quik Trip by the Maryland Crab on my previous post. QT is the shining oasis, the pot o' gold, waiting at the eastern terminus of the Turner Turnpike in West Tulsa (actually they are all over Tulsa and nine states). It was our all-night hangout when I was a disaffected youth roaming the streets of Tulsa in my sleeveless Army surplus shirt. Back then it was cigs, Sweet-Tarts, and Koolees. But today they have an awe-inspiring beverage array. A man stumbling into a Quik Trip in Dalandzagad after crossing the Gobi could die of thirst before deciding on just the right drink combination to quench his thirst. Here is the lineup (and these are all from the fountain, not cans, etc.): 24 soft drinks, 3 hot chocolate varieties, two kinds of steamed milk, two kinds of frozen steamed milk, 6 cappuccino flavors, 8 kinds of creamer (dry or liquid), 4 kinds of coffee, 6 flavors of smoothies, 2 kinds of energy drinks, 11 flavors of sports drinks, 7 flavors of freezonis, and three flavors of shakes which you can mix yourself to any consistency. The beverage center has achieved cult status and employees and loyal customers are encouraged to provide recipes for delicious combinations of all the above. This is free market capitalism as Adam Smith envisioned it, folks. Jefferson was probably even thinking of a Blue Thunder when he wrote about the pursuit of happiness.

Here's a couple recipes:
Yellow Snow
1/2 White Cherry Freezoni
1/2 Minute Maid Lemonade
Stir well

Fruit of the Loon
1/4 Blue Raspberry Freezoni
1/4 Juicy Orange Smoothie
1/4 Burpleberry Wally Smoothie
1/4 Puckerberry Wally Freezoni

Colaccino
1/3 Cola Freezoni
1/3 Frozen Cappuccino
1/3 Frozen Steamer
Stir well

Annette Frappacello
Frozen Cappuccino
5 Shots Amaretto Creamer
from Flavor Center
3 Shots Chocolate Syrup
from Flavor Center
Stir well

Kiss the Rooster
1/3 Puckerberry Wally Freezoni
1/3 White Cherry Freezoni
1/3 Rooster Booster Fountain
Stir well.

More here.

The Colaccino is my fall back position when freedom of choice is too much.

Now, here's the problem. They are nowhere near our market. I would love to know if and who they collude with because no one around here is even remotely competitive with Quik Trip. My dad the groceryman used to tell me all the time about collusion in the grocery biz. For example there is (or at least was 20 years ago) a line somwhere around Ardmore and north of that is OKC territory and south of that is Dallas territory. So, some stores and products (seems like maybe Winn-Dixie and Mr. PiBB come to mind), could be sold in one market and not in another. It's illegal, but companies get around things, of course. I'm not accusing - no libel here - just wondering why QT won't enter our market. It can't be the demographics because we are Tulsa only bigger.

Wake up! This post is over!