Parallel Lines

I just spent a sick hour taking rapid personality tests. Hey it's one of the interests in my profile, for God's sake. Here are the results:

Brain Pattern: Your brain is always looking for the connections in life. You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.
Japanese Name: Senichi Kato
Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover
Age I Act: 30
Hillbilly Name: Squirrel West
Weirdness: 40% (thought it would be higher)
Type of Ex: Friendly
Color of Green: Apple
Love Element: Water
Power Color: Indigo
Elf Name: Freckles Fluffernutter
Sellout Price: $235,939
Part of Fall I Am: Changing leaves – pretty, but soon dead
Which Reindeer: Vixen – the one all the other reindeer dream about
Who Should Paint My Portrait: Picasso
Language I Should Learn: French
Cookie I Am: Chocolate Chip
Boyish/Girlish Ratio: 60/40
Ideal Career Type: Investigative (duh)
Inner Blood Type: A - cool and collected, a bit shy, creative and artistic, very unique person who doesn't quite fit in. People accept you more than you realize, seeing you as trustworthy and loyal.
French Name: Denis Rioux
Type of Writer I Should Be: Sci-Fi (wrong!)
How Open-Minded: 80%
My Birthdate Means:
You understand people well and are a natural born therapist.
A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around.
You tend to be a father figure to friends, even to those older than you.
You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people.
Kissing Purity Score: 37% - You're not one to kiss and tell...But word is, you kiss pretty well.
People Envy My: Compassion
Lucky Underwear Color: Blue
How Scary Am I: A Little
What Kind of Kisser: Playful
How Quirky I Am: 78% - so quirky you don’t know from normal
In A Past Life: I was a lazy undertaker in North Africa hung for treason.
What Crappy Christmas Gift Am I: Fruitcake
Muppet: Rowlf
Winter Sport I Am: Curling
European City I Belong In: Amsterdam
Weather Personality: Lightning – beautiful but dangerous (hey I just report this stuff)
My Summer Ride: Beetle Convertible (whose isn’t?)
Sexy Brazilian Name: Felipe Montenegro
Soda I Am: Dr. Pepper (??!!)
My Best Match: Root Beer
Stay Away From: 7 Up
Which Brady Am I: Peter
What Rejected Crayon Am I: McDonald’s Burger Gray
My Hidden Talent: You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system. It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes. You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.
My Hair Should Be: Orange – Expressive and deep, you pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.
My Superhero Profile:
Your Superhero Name is The Gorilla Bull
Your Superpower is Electrocution
Your Weakness is Meat
Your Weapon is Your Flash Shield
Your Mode of Transportation is Capsule
What Your Sleeping Position Says: You are calm and rational. You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
Your Scholastic Strength Is: Developing Ideas
How Irish Are You: 30%
What Kind of Pie Are You: Mud Pie - you're the perfect combo of flavor and depth
How Do People See You: Slow and Steady
What Donut Are You: Boston Crème - You have a tough exterior. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
Kind of Coffee Are You: Black coffee - low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable
Temperament: Melancholic
Candy Bar: Snickers
Self-Esteem: 88% (yeah but that other 12% is a doozie)
Who Were You In High School: Arty Kid
Simpsons Personality: Krusty
What Kind of Friend Are You: You Are A Good Friend - Many people consider you their "best friend"What Your Face Says to Others: At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced.
Monster Name: Ultima Murderer
Gay Childhood Icon: Velma
Age at Death: 73
What Number Are You: 7
Your Dominant Intelligence is: Linguistic Intelligence
Your Inner European is: Italian

OK, you can all begin the mockery and refutation of how great a friend I am now!