Entomophobia

I’ve been less than enthusiastic about writing after the clog post reaction, but seeing that Adjective Queen penned her Mein Kampf for the ant population over at bananappeal, I had to chime in. I believe our own tale of interspecies warfare will outdo hers. Our mornings, noons and nights, are pierced by the primordial screams and foghorn bleats of our children as they discover the latest incursions by our foes - blatta orientalis. Oriental cockloaches.

As YHWH is quick to interject when the Super Giant Killer mentions this to everyone we meet, these aren’t the insidious American or German cockroaches, these are Oriental ones who have mistakenly bumbled into the house. These are not, she affirms, the kind that inhabit poorly kept homes.

Nonetheless, if you should find yourself in residence at our residence, you will be startled by the most horrifying scream arising from primitive depths in the psyche. This is a scream that’s difficult to describe, but I imagine it to be similar to one uttered by the first humanoid to come across one. That’s if SGK sees one. If The Self sees one, you see her speed by at Mach I. I know it’s Mach I because seconds after she goes by you then hear a foghorn sound which makes you fear for the safety of the fishing smacks off Cape Cod. Also hard to describe. What can I say. The kid doesn’t scream. Never has.

Of course, I think it’s hilarious. I mean, yeah, these things are gross – if you’ve never seen these kind they have a glossy back and look all slimy – but they are pretty harmless. They don’t eat anything or get in your bed or cabinets. They really have just gotten lost on the way to the woodpile. But to see how these girls react to them is sheer comedy. I have to admit to tomfoolery, though. These guys are really slow and you have plenty of time to find a shoe or something to squash them with – they may be lost, but I’m damned if they ever see the light of day again – so I’ll grab one of the girls’ shoes and press down until I hear the tell-tale crackle sound and then just leave the shoe there. Later I’ll get all parental and bark, “Get your shoes out the hallway! Now!” Then I count to three and … eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Oh, the hilarity.

We had an exterminator lay down some organic pesticide, though and it worked for a month, but they still keep coming. Hmm…I’ll bet if I get rid of that mountain of leaves up against the house, they’ll go away…


Found an interesting item in the October 18, 1918 newspaper…

She Buys Buttons; Police are Called

A woman residing in the 1100 block on West Nineteenth Street called at a department store here yesterday, purchased eight small buttons for seventeen cents, paid cash for the buttons and then asked that they be delivered at her residence, according to a report made to a member of the police force.

The woman, at the time she asked that the eight buttons be delivered, explained that she did not like to carry bundles on the street. The police were informed.