Friday, March 31, 2006

We Live In A Time When Paintings Have No Color, Words Don't Rhyme

Some little Ram is having a birthday today...

I've just had a long conversation with The Self about the confusing vicissitudes of love. Or such as it is perceived in middle school. From what I gather, the very mild version of 'going out' as practiced at her school consists of simply saying, "Will you go out with me?" and if both parties agree then that's pretty much it. No hand-holding, let alone first base (there is a God, I told you) or anything beyond a 'side-hug', even though they've seen and heard way beyond what I ever had by that age myself. But what I really noticed is that none of them seem capable of falling in love. Or if they're capable, they just don't.

I figure my memory has failed me or something because I believe with all my heart that in middle school I had gone somewhere beyond crush and obsession and could be just totally in love with someone. Where everything you think about is related to them, and you talk to them secretly on the phone until 2 AM. Your eyes sparkle when you see them. You have a stupid grin on your face all the time. Your pulse races. Not obsession or Guys Who Wear Garden Clogs stalking. Nothing physical, but just completely washed over with romance and sentiment. Did anyone else feel this way? Were Drew and The Refugee just really lucky girls? I mean I showered them with genuine affection and gifts, I was nice to their families, the works. I have to ask Drew about this. But I explained all of this to The Self and she says she knows of no one (and she knows everyone) who feels that way in an obvious manner, which would indicate they are still at an unrequited secret crush level. What do you say? When does that kick in - or is it dead these days?

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I think you are a great observer and an awesome writer.

Adjective Queen said...

I remember being asked to "go around" in 7th grade, just before summer break. Our relationship existed merely as a verbal contract. I didn't see him all summer, and the first day of 8th grade, we broke up. Personally, I hope it stays this way for my kids. I don't want to see them used as examples of hyper-sexed youth in Newsweek or Time!